Absu is a band that I started out having an incredible amount of disdain for. I believe the first album I picked up from them was Barathrum: V.I.T.R.I.O.L. and I found it to be an incredibly difficult album to even listen to one song from (that will be coming shortly on this list).
However, a good friend of mine convinced me to give them another chance a few years later and it was the song: From Ancient Times that did it for me. We, however, will not be discussing that song, or album, today as the primary focus remains on going in order (I'm using an alphabetical approach).
Today we move on to Absu-Absu. Admittedly, due to my own laziness, I'm approaching this again a year later or so than I started. Whoops. Anyways, to the music:
This album kicks off with the song The Absu of Eridu and Erech which has some fantastic drumming and riffs that kick in right from the start. A lot of the songs, actually, on this album have some really good riffs and drum parts.
Amy is another great song. The main riff just has a nice groove to it that really just builds up a ton of energy. Even the guitar halfway through when it slows down is still fantastic to listen to.
While there are plenty of good songs on this album and good riffs nothing really strikes out as GREAT to me or even memorable. Outside of Amy it all just kind of blends together. It's an album I've listened to a few times but nothing I feel like diving any further into. Next!
Rating: 5/10
Can you get any more average?
Monday, May 18, 2015
Monday, August 25, 2014
Dig A Little Deeper
I've recently been mulling the amount of time I spend in the car, or alone, no any given day. I've realized that I have quite a bit of time to myself to do things like browse the internet, play with social media, or talk to friends. However, what I've really been thinking about lately is my music library. I just spent a few minutes poking around iTunes to realize I have 901 albums and about 30 days worth of music to listen to.
While I know that, realistically, I won't be able to actually listen to all of this in 30 days I did realize I might be able to find some hidden gems that I have yet to discover by going back and listening to each album from start to finish (a credit that I have not given all of these albums). I've had luck in the past discovering something that has been sitting in my library for ages (Hello Deathspell Omega back in 2012).
So over the next month, or two, or whatever, I'll be doing just that. Listening to and commenting on the albums and bands in my musical library. Hopefully you'll enjoy reading this as much as I will listening to it and filtering it down.
One thing to note: I will do my best to listen to it all. But if it is truly terrible and I can't do it, I won't.
Happy listening!
While I know that, realistically, I won't be able to actually listen to all of this in 30 days I did realize I might be able to find some hidden gems that I have yet to discover by going back and listening to each album from start to finish (a credit that I have not given all of these albums). I've had luck in the past discovering something that has been sitting in my library for ages (Hello Deathspell Omega back in 2012).
So over the next month, or two, or whatever, I'll be doing just that. Listening to and commenting on the albums and bands in my musical library. Hopefully you'll enjoy reading this as much as I will listening to it and filtering it down.
One thing to note: I will do my best to listen to it all. But if it is truly terrible and I can't do it, I won't.
Happy listening!
Thursday, November 7, 2013
16 Years
I remember the day I first heard them. It was 1997 and I had just run out of bowling around noon on a Saturday. I quickly flipped the radio station in my moms car over to Q101 and began enjoying some good alternative music when I heard the announcement of a brand new song from a band unknown at the time.
The song in question? My Own Prison. The Band? If I really needed to answer that it was Creed. I was hooked, instantly. It was as if someone had opened a store in my brain that sold nothing but good feelings. The haunting echoes of Scott Stapps voice on that song coupled with Mark Tremonti in the background (as well as his great guitar work) had me as an instant fan.
Fast forward to the formation of Alter Bridge in 2004 and, at the time, I was less than thrilled. I, at the time, had been a huge fan of Creed and was deeply disappointed at the fact Myles Kennedy was not Scott Stapp. What an idiot I was, so young and nostalgic.
In the meantime, as all of this was developing, I was becoming a huge fan of black metal and death metal, still am. But I need a break every so often, and so you enter in the second Alter Bridge release. I decided to give them another go based on rave reviews from some friends and their father. Boy was I wrong.
I picked up Blackbird on a win sometime in 2007 or 2008, I can't remember when, and I was hooked. Myles vocals were phenomenal and this was not the band I once knew. While One Day Remains still is pretty much Creed IV to me...Blackbird represented something entirely different and new. It was as if the band was finally progressing and becoming a band of their own. Nothing was more evident of this than the title track. A sweeping melodic ballad that slowly builds into this fantastic catharsis as Mark Tremonti just tears into the solo after Myles.
I was extremely excited for AB III but that one, honestly, ended up being a bit of a clunker for me. It felt to me like it was the missing link between One Day Remains and Blackbird. It is not a bad album by any means, it just isn't memorable. The only songs that really stick out to me are: Slip to the Void, Isolation, I know it Hurts, and Fallout. Otherwise...stale, sort of lifeless, and not what I was expecting as a follow up to Blackbird.
Enter Fortress, the bands fourth album.
One phrase can sum up this album: God Damn!
It's going on almost two months and I am still listening to this album day in and day out. The first track, Cry of Achilles is a stud of a track. Just a bit over six and a half minutes in length and a song filled with emotion. The acoustic intro with a very middle eastern feel slowly builds up as the song arcs into a drum roll with a nice piece of heavy guitar work. Between Myles vocals simply destroying everything and being some of his best I've ever heard and the two solos this track is a gem. (If you haven't checked out his stuff in the Mayfield Four please do, you won't be disappointed.)
Everyone knows Addicted to Pain but it is essentially their fastest track on the album. A good mix of groove/thrash with a nice speedy solo. Again, another fine effort by Myles on vocals (the whole album really). This song was the first single and has just a great feel to it that is sure to energize the crowd at a show.
Bleed it Dry, Lover, and The Uninvited are all very good songs as well. Heavy, hard hitting, and to the point. Lover throws in a bit of variety but with a bit more of the emotional side thrown in. For the purpose of this review, however, I'm sticking to my favorite tracks.
Peace is broken is another track akin to Addicted to Pain. A good groovy piece started up with some great symbol work by the man Scott Phillips. I love the vocal filter thrown in on the verse part of the song, it kind of has that echo-y radio feel to it.
A late comer for me was Calm the Fire. My girlfriend fell for this track while in Texas and I have to say it is amazing. The slow intro, the powerful lead in vocals, the sweeping guitar, it reminded me a lot of the title track to Blackbird. The verse has a feel like Dream Theater (to me) in terms of it sounding just like progressive metal, much of this carried by Myles vocals. The song as a whole is just simply amazing.
Following up is my next and probably second favorite track on the album, Farther Than the Sun. This is one of the heaviest songs on the album while being one of the catchiest at the same time. The best part of this song, trust me the solo is great, would be the chorus. It just has a great catch to it that it was hard not to fall in love with. Not to mention the lyrics just resonate, and its hard not to have a feeling for them. From the chorus: I have to find a place where I belong, I do not like what I have become, No more compromise I will be gone, Free to fly farther than the sun, farther than the sun. Not to mention that lead licks performed by Tremonti from the mid point of the track are simply amazing.
Lastly, but not least, the title track Fortress. While it doesn't follow the historical premise of Blackbird, the track still begins a bit slow but has a more consistent pace to it. The timing of the verse and chorus are pretty similar, though with the chorus heavier and more emotional vocals. As they break into the bridge the song slows down into a fade out and then picks up to a heavier, thrashy, riff that leads into a pair of solo trade offs by Mark and Myles, before fading and going back to the chorus and and then slamming the door shut on another album.
Bravo, Alter Bridge. From the band that started as Creed I would have never expected an album like this. However, you have surprised me, and as a fan of music I am eternally grateful. I truly appreciate albums that are, from start to finish, amazing, and I thank you for giving us this amazing album. If there was never another Creed album I wouldn't care. I still haven't made it through Full Circle no matter how hard I try. Scott Stapp is just not Myles, and he never will be.
Please keep up the amazing work. I'm eagerly awaiting AB V.
The song in question? My Own Prison. The Band? If I really needed to answer that it was Creed. I was hooked, instantly. It was as if someone had opened a store in my brain that sold nothing but good feelings. The haunting echoes of Scott Stapps voice on that song coupled with Mark Tremonti in the background (as well as his great guitar work) had me as an instant fan.
Fast forward to the formation of Alter Bridge in 2004 and, at the time, I was less than thrilled. I, at the time, had been a huge fan of Creed and was deeply disappointed at the fact Myles Kennedy was not Scott Stapp. What an idiot I was, so young and nostalgic.
In the meantime, as all of this was developing, I was becoming a huge fan of black metal and death metal, still am. But I need a break every so often, and so you enter in the second Alter Bridge release. I decided to give them another go based on rave reviews from some friends and their father. Boy was I wrong.
I picked up Blackbird on a win sometime in 2007 or 2008, I can't remember when, and I was hooked. Myles vocals were phenomenal and this was not the band I once knew. While One Day Remains still is pretty much Creed IV to me...Blackbird represented something entirely different and new. It was as if the band was finally progressing and becoming a band of their own. Nothing was more evident of this than the title track. A sweeping melodic ballad that slowly builds into this fantastic catharsis as Mark Tremonti just tears into the solo after Myles.
I was extremely excited for AB III but that one, honestly, ended up being a bit of a clunker for me. It felt to me like it was the missing link between One Day Remains and Blackbird. It is not a bad album by any means, it just isn't memorable. The only songs that really stick out to me are: Slip to the Void, Isolation, I know it Hurts, and Fallout. Otherwise...stale, sort of lifeless, and not what I was expecting as a follow up to Blackbird.
Enter Fortress, the bands fourth album.
One phrase can sum up this album: God Damn!
It's going on almost two months and I am still listening to this album day in and day out. The first track, Cry of Achilles is a stud of a track. Just a bit over six and a half minutes in length and a song filled with emotion. The acoustic intro with a very middle eastern feel slowly builds up as the song arcs into a drum roll with a nice piece of heavy guitar work. Between Myles vocals simply destroying everything and being some of his best I've ever heard and the two solos this track is a gem. (If you haven't checked out his stuff in the Mayfield Four please do, you won't be disappointed.)
Everyone knows Addicted to Pain but it is essentially their fastest track on the album. A good mix of groove/thrash with a nice speedy solo. Again, another fine effort by Myles on vocals (the whole album really). This song was the first single and has just a great feel to it that is sure to energize the crowd at a show.
Bleed it Dry, Lover, and The Uninvited are all very good songs as well. Heavy, hard hitting, and to the point. Lover throws in a bit of variety but with a bit more of the emotional side thrown in. For the purpose of this review, however, I'm sticking to my favorite tracks.
Peace is broken is another track akin to Addicted to Pain. A good groovy piece started up with some great symbol work by the man Scott Phillips. I love the vocal filter thrown in on the verse part of the song, it kind of has that echo-y radio feel to it.
A late comer for me was Calm the Fire. My girlfriend fell for this track while in Texas and I have to say it is amazing. The slow intro, the powerful lead in vocals, the sweeping guitar, it reminded me a lot of the title track to Blackbird. The verse has a feel like Dream Theater (to me) in terms of it sounding just like progressive metal, much of this carried by Myles vocals. The song as a whole is just simply amazing.
Following up is my next and probably second favorite track on the album, Farther Than the Sun. This is one of the heaviest songs on the album while being one of the catchiest at the same time. The best part of this song, trust me the solo is great, would be the chorus. It just has a great catch to it that it was hard not to fall in love with. Not to mention the lyrics just resonate, and its hard not to have a feeling for them. From the chorus: I have to find a place where I belong, I do not like what I have become, No more compromise I will be gone, Free to fly farther than the sun, farther than the sun. Not to mention that lead licks performed by Tremonti from the mid point of the track are simply amazing.
Lastly, but not least, the title track Fortress. While it doesn't follow the historical premise of Blackbird, the track still begins a bit slow but has a more consistent pace to it. The timing of the verse and chorus are pretty similar, though with the chorus heavier and more emotional vocals. As they break into the bridge the song slows down into a fade out and then picks up to a heavier, thrashy, riff that leads into a pair of solo trade offs by Mark and Myles, before fading and going back to the chorus and and then slamming the door shut on another album.
Bravo, Alter Bridge. From the band that started as Creed I would have never expected an album like this. However, you have surprised me, and as a fan of music I am eternally grateful. I truly appreciate albums that are, from start to finish, amazing, and I thank you for giving us this amazing album. If there was never another Creed album I wouldn't care. I still haven't made it through Full Circle no matter how hard I try. Scott Stapp is just not Myles, and he never will be.
Please keep up the amazing work. I'm eagerly awaiting AB V.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Worth A Reminder
I never really thought I would have to link back to this. However, times change and the need to recall this information is rather imperative. Even at the end of that article I noted how it would be interesting to watch how things play out over the next few years. Here we are, today, and what a nasty little thing it has become.
SOPA (Stop On-Line Piracy Act) and PIPA (Protect IP Act) are currently up for debate in Congress. Voting is scheduled for less than a week from now today and could change the landscape of politics, life, and business forever. The methods suggested to enforce these acts are rather 'big brother' and almost seem like something you would see out of some sort of twisted science fiction story.
Your major supporters for this legislation include two companies that are losing the battle to 'piracy': The RIAA and MPAA. These are your two largest entertainment media outlets in America, if not the world. As I stated before the RIAA was fighting a battle it couldn't win because it was locked in to a mindset from the 1960's.
The recording industry needed to find a way to promote its product during these changing times. Something that would innovate, charge, and excite the industry. Rather than using its money to do so they've piggybacked on to these two bills and hope to recoup their losses that way.
I'm not going to go into explaining this and that of SOPA & PIPA. There are hundreds of websites already out there dedicated to that. My opinion more resides on the lines of the invasion of personal freedom, expression, and control that would allow this to occur.
Why? Those items can all be accessed from various other sources, like YouTube. SOPA would destroy YouTube, because that would be copy right infringement. Motion picture studios have it right, I believe, in offering 'combo back' DVDs. This readily applies to Blu-Ray movies when they throw in the DVD & a Digital download of the movie to take with you on a mobile device. This adds real value back to the consumer in the form of additional goods they can utilize at their discretion.
Blu-Ray sales were up in 2011 by 35% over 2010. Part of this may be due to people adopting to the lower cost in technology that supports Blu-Ray, but most user reviews over HD Blu Ray content are giving positive review to the inclusion of that digital download and regular DVD that is included at no additional cost. This is providing real value back to the end user, and something that was a smart move by movie studios.
SOPA (Stop On-Line Piracy Act) and PIPA (Protect IP Act) are currently up for debate in Congress. Voting is scheduled for less than a week from now today and could change the landscape of politics, life, and business forever. The methods suggested to enforce these acts are rather 'big brother' and almost seem like something you would see out of some sort of twisted science fiction story.
Your major supporters for this legislation include two companies that are losing the battle to 'piracy': The RIAA and MPAA. These are your two largest entertainment media outlets in America, if not the world. As I stated before the RIAA was fighting a battle it couldn't win because it was locked in to a mindset from the 1960's.
The recording industry needed to find a way to promote its product during these changing times. Something that would innovate, charge, and excite the industry. Rather than using its money to do so they've piggybacked on to these two bills and hope to recoup their losses that way.
I'm not going to go into explaining this and that of SOPA & PIPA. There are hundreds of websites already out there dedicated to that. My opinion more resides on the lines of the invasion of personal freedom, expression, and control that would allow this to occur.
Even as of today it has been noted on numerous blogs and news sites that this bill is losing sponsors. The public out cry is obviously strong enough for these individuals to see that supporting such legislation is not in their best interest or taste.
Simply put: Using control from the government will not stop piracy. The fact remains that the RIAA and MPAA need to do something to innovate the industry and recapture sales. Recording artists and labels try to entice users by throwing extra content on CDs (such as a music video, interview with the artists, etc) but none of that has any real value to the average consumer.
Simply put: Using control from the government will not stop piracy. The fact remains that the RIAA and MPAA need to do something to innovate the industry and recapture sales. Recording artists and labels try to entice users by throwing extra content on CDs (such as a music video, interview with the artists, etc) but none of that has any real value to the average consumer.
Why? Those items can all be accessed from various other sources, like YouTube. SOPA would destroy YouTube, because that would be copy right infringement. Motion picture studios have it right, I believe, in offering 'combo back' DVDs. This readily applies to Blu-Ray movies when they throw in the DVD & a Digital download of the movie to take with you on a mobile device. This adds real value back to the consumer in the form of additional goods they can utilize at their discretion.
Blu-Ray sales were up in 2011 by 35% over 2010. Part of this may be due to people adopting to the lower cost in technology that supports Blu-Ray, but most user reviews over HD Blu Ray content are giving positive review to the inclusion of that digital download and regular DVD that is included at no additional cost. This is providing real value back to the end user, and something that was a smart move by movie studios.
Back to the RIAA...such a fruitless battle they are fighting. At some point I begin to wonder if the total destruction of the music industry would be a good thing. Artists would be free to 'explore' music as they would like to, album prices would likely drop, and digital content sources will probably see their profits rise.
While this would be bad for all those in the recording industry who rely on that industry for their source of income you have to wonder how long you can keep a dying industry on life support. Much like oil will eventually become a forgotten resource, the physical medium of music may go the same way. The only way to survive is based on one simple rule: evolution.
The energy industry will innovate and come up with some form of energy source (eventually), and the jobs in oil will shift over to that new source. The question, however, is what will the recording industry do? They appear unwilling to actually shift their resources over and actually involve. As I mentioned earlier, they appear stuck in their ways from the 1960's. Yet somehow they cannot seem to understand those ways no longer work.
For starters more digital content would be great, for users. While were on the subject of digital content, offer it at a cheaper rate then iTunes. Drop another $.25-$.50 off of a song and offer it on a central web site (like iTunes). Just imagine, the RIAA, using its power to create one central website for all artists and labels that are a part of it. They could host a huge library of digital music and offer it at a cheaper price than iTunes to shift that money back to them.
Even then, with that kind of control (since that seems to be their aim), they can offer exclusive content (such as back catalogs or live performances) that other people can't get on iTunes. Throw in the rights to having singles released first and suddenly you're looking at a fairly healthy machine that is suddenly recapturing users attention.
Even then, with that kind of control (since that seems to be their aim), they can offer exclusive content (such as back catalogs or live performances) that other people can't get on iTunes. Throw in the rights to having singles released first and suddenly you're looking at a fairly healthy machine that is suddenly recapturing users attention.
Another innovation that needs to be done is to give people a free preview of the album. Say, they can pick five songs to download and listen to, unlimited, for a week before they 'expire' and can no longer be played. One of the biggest benefits to downloading an album is to sample it before you buy it. As it stands the thirty second clips iTunes posts as a preview are usually not enough to get some enticed by a song.
Let users have the option to mix and match their content so they can get a sample before they buy, kind of like when you hit up a grocery store on a Sunday morning and they are offering all sorts of free samples of food. Suddenly you're thinking of new ways to advertise and distribute your content.
Let users have the option to mix and match their content so they can get a sample before they buy, kind of like when you hit up a grocery store on a Sunday morning and they are offering all sorts of free samples of food. Suddenly you're thinking of new ways to advertise and distribute your content.
In that respect, people still want physical CDs (I know that I do). Let's talk quality, here, though. Things need to change in this regard. Music outlets, FYE for example, charge you a premium for purchasing albums with them. At least, for someone like me, who buys metal I know I pay on average of $14.99-16.99 per album. However, I can buy from an online distro for the price of $9.99 and only a dollar or two for shipping. The problem is I want my disc now.
So let's throw some real value back at retail consumers. How about lowering the price of discs, for starters? Or, even better, how about using a higher quality disc to try and make the discs more resistance to scratching? Throw in a download code for a free EP or Live album and suddenly physical discs are looking more attractive.
So let's throw some real value back at retail consumers. How about lowering the price of discs, for starters? Or, even better, how about using a higher quality disc to try and make the discs more resistance to scratching? Throw in a download code for a free EP or Live album and suddenly physical discs are looking more attractive.
Innovation, it is the key and the survival of the industry depends on it. You can try to control the end user all you want but all they will do is find ways around it. Congrats, you shut down one pirate web site but in the mean time five more have still opened. I wish I could find a list of the artists that oppose the RIAA that I could link to. Anyways...write your congress(wo)man and be vocal.
We are heading into the belly of the beast on this one. What will come out on the other side?
We are heading into the belly of the beast on this one. What will come out on the other side?
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
It has Come down to This
For me, the NHL season ended back on April 26th when the Hawks lost to the Canucks. Sure, it continued on for other fan bases, it just wasn't the same here. The best part was rooting against the Canucks (ala rooting against LeBron). Sure, it has been fun, sure, it has been aggravating, and any other load of emotions from both sides of the spectrum.
But it ends here.
Tonight.
It's almost like watching a battle of good and evil. It's like watching your favorite Super Hero come up to the biggest battle they have ever had against their biggest arch villain, and not knowing the outcome.
Somehow, in the end, the good guy always wins. Right? Wrong? I don't know, none of us do, but that answer is coming.
Karma would only seem ready to strike and have the Canucks leave the arena tonight with no prize. On the flip side, karma is a fickle, odd thing. Say they do win, get their prize. Then what? When does she strike (she will)?
Will Henrik and Daniel collide into each other early next year (twinsenses off skew) and then Vancouver disappears into mediocrity? Or, will she come shining through and maintain balance in the world.
It happened the other day, after all, with the Mavericks beating the Heat and winning the NBA championship. Therefore, we know the precedent has been set. Can it be repeated?
The Bruins are like Spider Man, and the Canucks like the Green Goblin. They have home ice, Bobby Lu has been solid at home this series, and the Bruins have been virtually scoreless in Vancouver.
The world needs a superhero now, more than ever, good needs to prevail. The only reasonable way this will happen is for Boston to play hard (not saying they haven't) utilize whatever PP time they are given, and score early (and hopefully often).
Part of me on the inside would love to see one more Bobby Lu 4+ goal game, and then watch him abandon his team to find himself in South America next year.
Destiny awaits.
Let's go Bruins.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Beantown
Thank you, Boston Bruins. After going through the same senseless play and crap from the Canucks as we did in Round 1 it was great to see you respond in such a way. The fact that you responded with an 8 goal blasting of the Canucks on Monday night was a sight for sore eyes for this Hawks fan. The real story of the night, sadly, was the hit by Aaron Rome on Nathan Horton.
I know at this point it has been debated to death but that still doesn't excuse the fact that it was a terrible, dirty play. The fact of the matter remains that, while not a blindside hit, this was a hit shoulder to head. Watching the replays, as well, it appears that Rome changes his pace after Horton releases the puck to step in and make the play.
The resulting conclusions reached by the NHL is a 4 game suspension for Rome. In reality, however, this is a terrible trade off. The scary part is the potential for any retaliation in Game 4 (read Dan Carcillo knocking out Jeff Carter last year while trying to level Tomas Kopecky in last years Cup Finals. For those of you unfamiliar Carter and Carcillo were teammates, Kopecky was a Hawk).
Needless to say the early going of game 4 could be extremely exciting as Boston will come out with a ton of energy and probably press extremely hard and try to set Vancouver on their heels. The most important part now, is for the Bruins to come out strong and score a goal or two in the first ten minutes. If they manage to let the Canucks off lightly, that will give Vancouver a nice mental boost.
Boston needs to do what's best for them, and the sport of hockey, and put their skates to throats of the Canucks and end it, mercilessly. The type of goonish behavior that has been exhibited by Vancouver over the past few years (I'm looking at you and your eight your old child antics Burrows) has no place in the game. Yes, the taunting, and tough guy acts are fun, but at some point it stops being fun and starts being classless and silly (i.e. hair pulling, I know he's an easy target).
If this Vancouver team were comprised of any other group of players maybe it would be possible to root for them, they are from the West after all. But as it stands the best thing that could happen now would be for Boston to absolutely destroy them.
Here's to hoping!
Go Bruins!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Fall From Grace
Travels for all through life will yield different results and experiences that will help mold the people we become. During the course of our lives we are often presented with different situations that will test our moral code and our beliefs. Often times it is through situations like these that we uncover the person we truly are, and where we lack attributes to be the person we want.
How would you handle having a family member dying right in front of you? What if you witnessed a terrible car crash and did not stop to help? These are simple examples, really, that help to illustrate the path I'm trying to open for you. Everyone will go through and experience different things that will challenge them in their lives, what makes you who you are is how you handle them.
Case in point, at least for me, is my fall from the faith of Christianity. Looking back on myself I often times examplified the behaviour that I now vehemently denounce. I remember, when my fiances grandfather passed away, having scolded her for not kneeling during the church services and saying it was "disrespectful". Two years later at similar services for my uncle I found myself on the her side of the coin and my brother approaching me the same way I approached her.
I quickly realized, however, that her actions before, and my actions then, were in no way disrespectful. How? For the fact that we did not tarnish the services of the deceased by presenting a facade that we were believers. We did not show ourselves as "believing" if only for that moment and for that person. Though the services were in their honor, their honor is exactly what we observed.
After the passing of my uncle my aunt approached me and told me how much my uncle loved to talk to me and how much he respected my decisions. Being a religious man (I'm not talking overly religious but someone who genuniely believed in his faith) she told me that though he did not agree with my choice, he certainly respected it and thought I was making the right choice for myself.
A month later, it was Christmas, and my father asked me about attending services with them the next day; to which I told him I would not. Sadly, after the eight years of Catholic education, he put me through he had to hear the words he never would have wanted to "No". When he asked why my response was simple "I don't believe in God."
To which he told me I was making a mistake, and to which the pain of hypocrisy rang through the air. I am not going to air any of his dirty laundry, as that is not my place, but I can say, without a doubt, that his example, and that of many others, has led me to my loss of belief. I had a chance to sit down and speek with one of the leaders of our church a few years ago. We talked about many things but one of the biggest things I took away were his comments of the Old Testament of the bible. Ultimately his comments were: Anyone who believes the Old Testament is real is crazy.
Most people will trace my decline to my discovery of black metal back around 2004. I was on a networking site and part of a group of Christians, albeit a bit more hardcore than I was. Upon this discovery I was often mislabeled, judged, criticized etc. (I really don't need to go on) It is all apparent the type of behaviour that these judgemental types partake in and really I had my first taste of the absolute hypocrisy that permeates throught Christianity. I shrugged it off and tried to validate my side but it was often to no avail and this was the first time that I had felt jaded.
I met my fiance a year later and continued to struggle with my grips on faith and the fact that I genuinely wanted to make it work for me. I wanted something to believe in, and I wanted something that I could celebrate. However, the more I tried the more I failed. It seemed as if everytime I took two steps forward that I would take eight back. I would try to pay attention in church, I would try to take the sacraments for what they were, but it all led to nothing.
It culminated with me meeting my friend Jeff and watching my fiances resolve at not giving up her non-belief no matter how hard I tried to get her to enjoy it. At this moment I was able to step back and take an "outsider looking in" approach to my actions of those around me. The building blocks of my life from birth until that point had crumbled in front of my eyes and for the first time in my life I felt fresh, and free.
I didn't feel as if I was being bound to something I could not live for. I did not feel that if I made a mistake (sin) that I need to dwell on it because of "eternal consequenes" but instead learn from it and better myself. I also proved to myself that I didn't need faith to be a good person, and neither does anyone else.
It has been several years now since I denounced my faith but I can honestly say that I have never felt better. It was such a liberating feeling to overcome something so controlling and narrow minded and to finally see the world from my own perspective. I won't even get into the crimes perpetrated by Christians in the name of god over the years, as I don't have the time for that, but maybe one day.
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