Fall From Grace

Travels for all through life will yield different results and experiences that will help mold the people we become. During the course of our lives we are often presented with different situations that will test our moral code and our beliefs. Often times it is through situations like these that we uncover the person we truly are, and where we lack attributes to be the person we want.

How would you handle having a family member dying right in front of you? What if you witnessed a terrible car crash and did not stop to help? These are simple examples, really, that help to illustrate the path I'm trying to open for you. Everyone will go through and experience different things that will challenge them in their lives, what makes you who you are is how you handle them.

Case in point, at least for me, is my fall from the faith of Christianity. Looking back on myself I often times examplified the behaviour that I now vehemently denounce. I remember, when my fiances grandfather passed away, having scolded her for not kneeling during the church services and saying it was "disrespectful". Two years later at similar services for my uncle I found myself on the her side of the coin and my brother approaching me the same way I approached her.

I quickly realized, however, that her actions before, and my actions then, were in no way disrespectful. How? For the fact that we did not tarnish the services of the deceased by presenting a facade that we were believers. We did not show ourselves as "believing" if only for that moment and for that person. Though the services were in their honor, their honor is exactly what we observed.

After the passing of my uncle my aunt approached me and told me how much my uncle loved to talk to me and how much he respected my decisions. Being a religious man (I'm not talking overly religious but someone who genuniely believed in his faith) she told me that though he did not agree with my choice, he certainly respected it and thought I was making the right choice for myself.

A month later, it was Christmas, and my father asked me about attending services with them the next day; to which I told him I would not. Sadly, after the eight years of Catholic education, he put me through he had to hear the words he never would have wanted to "No". When he asked why my response was simple "I don't believe in God."

To which he told me I was making a mistake, and to which the pain of hypocrisy rang through the air. I am not going to air any of his dirty laundry, as that is not my place, but I can say, without a doubt, that his example, and that of many others, has led me to my loss of belief. I had a chance to sit down and speek with one of the leaders of our church a few years ago. We talked about many things but one of the biggest things I took away were his comments of the Old Testament of the bible. Ultimately his comments were: Anyone who believes the Old Testament is real is crazy.

Most people will trace my decline to my discovery of black metal back around 2004. I was on a networking site and part of a group of Christians, albeit a bit more hardcore than I was. Upon this discovery I was often mislabeled, judged, criticized etc. (I really don't need to go on) It is all apparent the type of behaviour that these judgemental types partake in and really I had my first taste of the absolute hypocrisy that permeates throught Christianity. I shrugged it off and tried to validate my side but it was often to no avail and this was the first time that I had felt jaded.

I met my fiance a year later and continued to struggle with my grips on faith and the fact that I genuinely wanted to make it work for me. I wanted something to believe in, and I wanted something that I could celebrate. However, the more I tried the more I failed. It seemed as if everytime I took two steps forward that I would take eight back. I would try to pay attention in church, I would try to take the sacraments for what they were, but it all led to nothing.

It culminated with me meeting my friend Jeff and watching my fiances resolve at not giving up her non-belief no matter how hard I tried to get her to enjoy it. At this moment I was able to step back and take an "outsider looking in" approach to my actions of those around me. The building blocks of my life from birth until that point had crumbled in front of my eyes and for the first time in my life I felt fresh, and free.

I didn't feel as if I was being bound to something I could not live for. I did not feel that if I made a mistake (sin) that I need to dwell on it because of "eternal consequenes" but instead learn from it and better myself. I also proved to myself that I didn't need faith to be a good person, and neither does anyone else.

It has been several years now since I denounced my faith but I can honestly say that I have never felt better. It was such a liberating feeling to overcome something so controlling and narrow minded and to finally see the world from my own perspective. I won't even get into the crimes perpetrated by Christians in the name of god over the years, as I don't have the time for that, but maybe one day.

Collapse of a Monster

The 2009 summer baseball season is winding down and the division leaders are beginning to pull away into the sunset. Look at the Cardinals, as an example, and you will see that an 11 game lead is almost insurmountable. The Cubs had played themselves into mediocirty with a few of their signings over the last couple of years. A prime example would be the signing of Milton Bradley, who is hitting .266 with 12 home runs and 39 RBIs. This is not the production you'd ask for out of a man you signed to a multi year big money contract.

On the contrary the Cubs had the chance to sign Bobby Abreu (albeit a bit older but for $2 million less) but they chose to pass on him. Had they gotten involved and signed Abreu they'd be playing a person who is batting .300 with 13 home runs 91 RBIs. This would have been a much bigger contribution to the team and would have helped them out in a bulk of their low scoring games. Derrek Lee leads the team with 96 RBIs yet the next closest person to him is Soriano with 55 RBIs. As a team they are averaging 4.40 runs per game, which isn't all that bad.

Through 9 games this month they have scored 4 runs or less in 6 of their games, only in two of those did they score 4 runs or more. In 2008 the Cubs scored 855 runs all on the way to winning the NL Central and, ulitmately, collapsing in the playoffs. Looking at their numbers for the season it's easy to see why the team has struggled so much: .255 Batting Average (12th in the NL), 608 Runs scored (10th) .330 On Base Percentage (10th), .413 Slugging Percentage (7th), .743 On Base Percentage (9th) and 46 Stolen Bases (16th).

The one saving grace for this team has been their pitching (minus Kevin Gregg). The pitching is the reason the Cubs have remained out of the cellar this season as they have some pretty good numbers: 3.88 Earned Run Average (5th in the NL), .246 Opponent Batting Average (3rd), .721 On Base Percentage (5th), 36 Saves (7th), 1.33 Walks and Hits Per Innings Pitched (5th) and 84 quality starts (3rd). With numbers like that the Cubs should have run away with the NL Central, however they have to combat a poor offence and often times those quality starts have been wasted.

The White Sox, on the other hand, have been in the exact same situation this season as the Cubs. Over paid, and under perform has been this teams motto. Their 2009 season stats are strikingly similar to that of the Cubs. Their offensive numbers at this point: .260 AVG (10th in the AL), 642 R (9th), .330 OBP (9th), .419 SLG (10th), .749 OPS (9th) and 97 SB (6th).

Just like the Cubs the Sox have had similar pitching numbers as well: 4.15 ERA (2nd), .261 BAA (6th), .741 OPS (3rd), 31 Saves (10th), 1.36 WHIP (5th), and 75 QS (1st). Much to the dismay of the Sox have been some moves made by their GM, Kenny Williams, that will help them in the long run but have hurt them in the present.

The first move was the trade that sent Clayton Richard, and three other minor leaguers, to San Diego for Jake Peavy, who has yet to pitch. Peavy has been sidelined since June with an injury foot and most recently his elbow after having been hit by a ball during rehab start (irony?). While in the long run the Peavy deal may prove to be wildly successful it was a move that hurt a team in the midst of the race for the AL Central crown.

Richard, at this point of this season, is 8-5 with a 4.88 ERA. While these are not the most powerful numbers they certainly are better than his Triple A replacement, Carlos Torres. Since his call up to replace Richard, Torres is 1-1 with 6.35 ERA. As a sign of his struggle Torres was unable to make it out of the 1st inning the other night against Oakland as he gave up 5 runs in 2/3 of an inning. He pitched a great game last week, shutting out the Cubs, and it seemed he had finally fallen into a grove.

Not only was removing Richard bad for the number 5 spot Jose Contreras continued his decline and was finally traded away to the Rockies. After the Richard trade the Sox were left with 3 legitamite starters, one so-so starter, and one unknown. By the way, does anyone know where Bartolo Colon is? That would be another great offseason bust for the city of Chicago.

Both teams have had some good pickups or trades, however during the year, but not anything that was enough to propel them out of their mediocrity. The White Sox signed '05 World Series outfielder Scott Podsednik and he has been a wonderful addition to the team. In 113 games Podsednik is batting .307 with 5 Home Runs and 44 RBIs (higher than Milton Bradley) and 27 Stolen Bases (countered with being Caught Stolen 10 times). Podsednik has proven himself to be a spark at the top of the lineup that has been missing since that '05 season.

Another great addition for the Sox was the call up of Gordon Beckham. In 83 games Beckham is managing to hit .274 with 10 HRs and 55 RBIs (again his offensive production is equal to or better than Milton Bradley and he has played 30 less games). Beckham is a great rookie with a ton potential to make it big in this league, so long as he continues to keep his numbers steady.

The Cubs have had some silent sleepers and great additions this season as well. One such example is Ryan Theriot, a sleeper. He does not get a lot of press coverate but has put up some decent numbers this season. He's batting .288 with 7 HRs and 51 RBIs and has 17 SBs. The Cubs have also benefited from the addition of Jeff Baker to the team. Baker, while only playing in 60 games so far this year, is managing to bat .305 with 3 HRs and 17 RBIs. Picked up in a midseason trade with the Rockies, his numbers are not lights out but certainly warrant him having more playing time.

As it stands both teams have struggled greatly this year and are looking to next year as a chance to get those missing pieces of the puzzle and build the time into something great. The pressure is greater for the Cubs, having not won a Championship since 1908. In their case hopefully a new, and local, owner will bring some energy and desire to the North Side. With a local guy in charge Cubs fans can only hope that he will put the right team in place and lead them to finally winning a championship.

As for the Sox, it's weird to say "Wait till next year". Hopefully with the lessons learned from this season they get back to what won them a chamionship back in '05. At this point, however, who knows. Chicago: Big market times with a small market attitude.

The Death of An Era

It has become incredibly interesting to watch the decline of a business that had once been such a powerful machine. That business, is the music industry. The sales of physical albums continue to decline on a yearly basis, while digital music continues to grow.

In 2008 the sales of physical albums dropped by almost 20% to 360 million units (down from 450 million the year prior) throughout the world according to a recent article by The Huffington Post. The Post also details that digital purchases rose by 32% to 65 million world wide.

Looking at those numbers physical albums lost almost 90 million sales from the year prior while digital sales would have gained about 16 million in sales. Adjusting to the increase in digital sales vs. the decrease in physical sales the recording industry is still losing. Even with the increase the industry is still losing 73 million sales for 2008.

Over the past decade album sales have fallen by almost 400 million units. In 2000 album sales clocked in around 733 million in sales (this number represents CD sales only but these account for 95% of all album sales). If we assume an average price of $12.99 the industry has shown to lose over $5 billion since the year 2000.

What has become apparent is that the recording industry is in a frenzy trying to recapture these sales and fill their pockets back with the amounts of money they have lost. Many different reasons can be given for the decline, the most prominent would be the fault of P2P (Peer to Peer file sharing). With the continued rise off lawsuits, and threatned lawsuits, by the RIAA it is apparent that the industry sees itself as being phased out.

There is no doubt that digital copies will be the way in the future, if the industry wants to survive it needs to adapt itself now. The amount of time and money being spent on frivilous lawsuits could be better spent on marketing, and distribution. Not to mention dropping the price of the physical medium itself (the CD) and make it more affordable.

The average cost of the media itself usually clocks in at about $5 a disc, once all is said and done. This includes advertising, studio time and all the other costs associated with making the album. However once you add on retailer and label costs you end up with a price in the range of $12.99~$15.99.

To go back to the point on digital media, it is an incredibly easy (and cheap) medium. Not only is it cheap but it's an easily accessible medium as well. One of the worst parts of buying an album, especially if you're a fan of mainstream media, would be the useless amounts of filler material placed in the album. Digital media would allow people to easily access and buy the songs they want and not waste money on the ones they don't. Apple is currently laughing themselves all the way to the bank, having embraced this method with the iTunes store.

Having now sold over 1 billion songs in the iTunes store appple has made close to a billion dollars, albeit with some of that going back to the labels. Even considering this Apple is continuing to enjoy their $171 per share price on their common stock. While the stock had struggled in the early 2000s it began a rapid climb in 2003 that has led it from nearly $6 a share up to the level it is at today.

Apple has embraced this method as a wonderful medium that his enticed a mass amount of users to use this service. Not only is the service easy, it's free and incredibly streamlined. Searching for your favorite artist, or album, is incredibly easy and most songs have a 30 second sample attached to them. This feature has also been embraced by Microsoft for the Zune MarketPlace and something that labels have yet to jump on.

What would be even better for the labels using this method of distribution would be the fact that they do not have a middle man to distribute the media to. Instead they launch, advertise, and distribute everything themselves and keep all the profit in house. However the industry still appears to want to keep the model of lawsuits against single moms, children, and the deceased rather than revitalizing their industry.

With the loss of major artists over the past few years, Nine Inch Nails, Pearl Jam, and Radio Head, to name a select few; the industry will continue to whither and collapse. Indie artists and labels, however, have seen an increase in their sales over the past several years, hint to the major labels start releasing quality music.

The next few years should certainly be interesting to see where the industry is headed. As it stands they continue to dig themselves into a shallow grave.